Great Expectations

One of my coworkers asked me if I had thought about preschools for BGS yesterday, which made me think a lot about achievement and what expectations we have for our daughter. First of all, no offense to any New Yorkers, but I am so glad that we will be raising BGS in a suburban town where people think about preschools at a normal time — in about two years — rather than in utero. Apparently, there are some NYC schools where we would have had to submit an application already!

BGS hasn't even arrived in the world yet and already the pressure is on to start thinking about how we can set her up with the greatest possible advantages to achieve in our pressure cooker of a society. One of my former coworkers at TIME wrote a great article on this very issue last year. Anyone who knows me and Bret knows we couldn't be more different in this regard. While I am very A-type, Bret tends to take a more laid back approach to work and school. You may think that would cause a lot of conflict. But in terms of marriage and parenting styles, I must say, I really couldn't be happier that we have such different personalities. I think it makes our marriage healthier and I really believe it will help us raise a more well-balanced child. So the question remains: what do we want for BGS? Will she be more like her Mama or Daddy?

Our best answer is to just see what type of person she wants to be and take it from there. Babies come out with all sorts of personalities and agendas already set and I am sure she will make it known what type of achiever she wants to be. We are hoping for somewhere in the middle of the two of us! Sure, we will help promote her learning and development with Baby Einstein toys and learning games, but to a point. I mean, its amazing any of us ever learned how to use our senses without Sophie the Giraffe, right? Kids today have their schedules so packed with after school activities to help them get into good colleges and tutoring for the SATS seems to start in grammar school these days. A healthy dose of that is fine, but mostly we just want her to be a kid. Play dress-up, run around outside in the mud, make mistakes and learn from them.

At the end of the day we decided there's really only one trait we want our daughter to have: kindness. We don't care if she is popular or nerdy. If she gets straight As or Bs. If she becomes a doctor or a waitress. If she loves baseball and golf like her Dad or has an interest in photography and writing like her Mom. We just want her to grow up to be a good person. Someone who cares about other people and makes life better for those around her. If we can do that I think we will know we were good parents.

It's starting already. Our future 'lil M.D.