My Grandma Loves Me!

A Whole Lot of Diapers

Daddie says I poop a lot. Look at all my diapers!

New Pictures!

One Week Old

Alyson Maya is one week old today! Our little girl is growing up so fast.

First Shake Shack

Today, I had my first Shake Shack experience and boy, was it yummy! Mommie and Daddie took me to Madison Square Park. We saw a bunch of other little babies just like me. It was so much fun!

First Package

I got my very first package today from my Aunt Casey and Uncle Jeff. It was so cool. The Fed Ex guy totally ate me up. He even let me try to sign for the package. I told him I am working on that fine motor skill with my mama.

Another Day

...another cute outfit from my nana!

Hiccups!

I got hiccups in my mama's belly around the same time every night and now I get them on the outside too! How adorable. Also, I got to see my big cousin Ben today, my Uncle Jeff, Aunt Casey and Grandma. Ben is so awesome. He is going to teach me all kinds of great stuff like how to play on my activity mat. I love you Ben!

My First Week

Hey everybody!

Did you know that I am six days old today? Wow. I've already done all sorts of stuff like lose my umbilical stump, turn my head from side to side while on my tummy time mat and take my first bath.

Here are some new pictures of me!

Alyson's First Bath Time

I was so nervous during my first bath time that I pooped in the tub! At least, I am all clean now.

Rock n' Roll Baby

Allie or Aly

Ok. When we decided to name our daughter Alyson it was our intention to call her Allie as a nickname. In fact, we have been referring to her as Allie Bear since about the fifth month of my pregnancy. We started spelling it Allie and then we realized it made a lot more sense to the rest of the world if we spelled it Aly. But Allie is just so cute!

If you take a look on the right-hand side of the blog, you'll see a poll up where you can vote on what you think we should do. The lines will be open until the end of the month, as we should probably go into September with a definite answer on this..

So internet, how should we spell it?!!!!

Tummy Time!

Here's a video of my first tummy time!

No More Check-ups!

Alyson went back to the doctor today to check on her jaundice. We don't have the results of the blood test yet, but the doctor said he thought she looked good. She was so brave when she got blood drawn from her foot. She held on so tight to her Daddie's finger.

Look at how big her snap shirt is! She is so tiny. She barely fits into any of her newborn clothes.

I was so brave at the doctor today!

My Godfather Ryan makes the best onesies!

We are home!!

Just wanted to let everyone know that we took Alyson Maya home today! It feels so great to be in the apartment and not in the hospital. Allie is a little jaundice so we have an early appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow morning to get her checked out. So sorry we haven't been able to call everybody yet, but we are running a bit on empty. Thank you all again for your emails and well wishes! We can't wait to introduce you all to our little girl.

Thank you

Just wanted to thank everyone for all the phone calls, emails and well wishes for Baby Alyson!! We feel very blessed to have just wonderful friends and family. We are a little busy at the hospital right now with all the doctors for her and Mama but we promise to be in touch with everybody as soon as possible and are sorry we can't call sooner. A 32-hour labor really takes it out of you — and your husband!

Pictures from Alyson's First Day

A Special Message from Alyson

Hi!

Boy is it awesome to be outside, everyone is so nice here!  I arrived at 2:29am on August 22nd and the doctors say that I'm 6 pounds, 11 ounces.  I don't know what any of that means but it sounds important.  Mommie and I are pretty tired right now, so we're going to get some rest.  Daddie says you are all excited to meet me — I can't wait to see you all. 

Love,
Alyson Maya Sayre

Who Knows When

There's only one thing that is certain about predicting when labor is going to begin: no one knows anything. As your due date draws closer your physician will start making all sorts of predictions about when you are going to pop. They will rev you up by telling you how nice and soft your cervix is and throw around words like "dilated" and "effacement" to make you feel like you are getting closer to the big day. You will go home with a big smile on your face and call your parents and friends and brag that you are 40% effaced and are making such great progress — it could be any day now! But in reality, your doctor has about as much luck predicting when you are going to go into labor as you have touching your feet at 38 weeks pregnant.

Last week we got all excited when the doctor told us I was already 1/2 cm dilated and that there was a 50/50 chance I would go early. We thought for certain BGS was going to come that weekend. Bret started tying up loose ends at work and the family was put on alert, only for us to learn that BGS was quite comfortable where she is and had no intention of coming out anytime soon.

We told ourselves we weren't going to make the same mistake twice. At our last doctor's appointment this afternoon I was officially declared 2 cm dilated and 60% effaced, which we know means one thing when it comes to predicting BGS's birthday: nothing. Some women walk around 3 cm dilated for two weeks. Others go to the doctor completely closed up in the morning only to deliver that evening. But that doesn't stop you from getting your hopes up.

Even if no one can predict when I am going to go into labor at least these indicators mean the induction will hopefully go a little easier — after all there are only 8 more cm to go! And that sounds a heck of a lot better than 10 cm. Regardless of what happens this weekend there is an end in sight. Tuesday night we will be checking into the hospital and hopefully by Wednesday evening we will be holding our little girl!

Not-so Cuddle Monkey

Everyone tells you that the first few months of motherhood are one long lesson in sleep deprivation. What they don't tell you is: so is the last month of pregnancy. Yes, I know what you are thinking, your body is preparing itself for the sleepless nights ahead. But seriously, what a load of crap is that? It's my last week without a newborn I should be sleeping like well,... a baby!

With my infection almost behind me (knock on wood) I was finally able to get relatively comfortable last night. The ac was cranked up. I had my fan positioned perfectly so it was hitting me at just the right angle. My pillows were propped up under me in all the right places. The only problem was: I wasn't sleeping alone.

I have always made fun of couples who told me they slept in separate beds during the last few weeks of their pregnancy, but now I think I am starting to understand it. Normally, I hate sleeping without Bret. After eight years, you sort of get accustomed to your partner's nose whistle and the way their foot jerks when they drift off to sleep and frankly, it's just weird without it. But when your 38 weeks pregnant in the worst heat wave in ten years you are so uncomfortable that a mere sigh from the other side of the bed drives you bonkers.

Up until a few weeks ago — when my belly was still a manageable size — I thought it was cute when Bret slept with his arm tight around me so he could feel her moving throughout the night and his leg curled up on top of mine letting me know he there if I needed him. Now, I swear the additional weight of his arm on my belly makes me need to run to the bathroom even more and the extra heat from his body has me sweating all over the sheets before its even midnight.

I have tried to be discreet and move to the other size of the bed but it doesn't work. I have even gone so far as to try to roll him over in the middle of the night. But when your pregnant you will find that  your husband becomes like a tracker. He follows you from one side of the bed to the other when you are sleeping — and even from room to room in the apartment — just watching you and keeping an eye on things. It's like some sort of protective mechanism embedded in their brains.

One of us really should sleep on the couch tonight. We would probably both get a better night of sleep and we need it. But at the end of the day, as uncomfortable as I am, I think I'd rather enjoy our last seven nights without BGS and be a little sleep deprived. Of course, once Bret reads this and finds out what a bad wife I am I may find myself on the couch anyway.

BGS at 28 weeks.

Real Girls Wear Blue

I am a bad mother, already. Three years ago I feel in love with this elephant bedding set at Pottery Barn Kids. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. It became such an obsession of mine that my best friend Jayne often joked with me that she was going to buy it for me and save it for when the time was right just in case it was ever discontinued. So when I got pregnant I was delighted to find out that not only was the bedding set still available but the matching curtains were also in stock! There was only one catch: the bedding was pale blue and I was having a girl.

I struggled with the decision of whether or not to put in on my registry for weeks and then finally my girlfriends convinced me that I was crazy. I had wanted this bedding set for years how could I not get it for my first born? I decided to go for it and I couldn't have been happier when the package arrived in April with love from the wonderful, Mama G.

I am still amazed at how heated people get when I tell them about my bedding selection. BGS's nursery is made up of three pastel colors: pink, green and blue. And let me tell you, it looks adorable together! Yes, it is true her bedding is a pale blue but she also has an abundance of pink everywhere. A pink lamp shade, pink clothes, pink blankets, pink changer top, pink bunny chair, pink shoes. Believe me, this girl will not be deprived of anything pink!

Ever since my bedding choice I find people questioning my judgment and saying things like: "Do you have any pink?" "Are you sure she has enough pink?" "Why didn't you get something pink?" It's like I have sealed my daughter's fate as a tomboy just because her sheets are blue. But for now, I am going to continue to have my fun. It won't be long until BGS has an opinion of her own about bedding. And if she leans towards blue it will be all my fault.

Thanks Mama G!

The Ken Burns Effect

I didn't grow up with a video camera. My parents were picture people, not video people. There are no videos of me dancing in our living room in cute costumes, hunting outside for Easter eggs or snow tubing down the big hill near our house in the winter. But I do have a photograph with every single Christmas present I received in 1987. So when I found out a few years ago that Bret had all these great videos of himself as a child, I decided we definitely needed to get a video camera when we had kids. Of course, Bret might object to the fact that "great videos" are defined by footage of himself parading around in a sailor suit at his first birthday (apparently, it was in back then). Or his television debut in the hit show Romper Room where he couldn't listen to directions and threw a ball over the wall at some of the producers. But embarrassing as they may be, the memories remain priceless.

For my birthday this year, Bret's parents gave me a sweet video camera so we could record our own embarrassing memories with our daughter. We haven't gotten to use it much yet but here's one from a few months ago of us assembling her crib. As you can see, I am quite the professional.

Under the Weather: Part 2

By my sixth trip to the bathroom last night I finally had my first end of pregnancy meltdown. I have sort of gotten used to waking up every two hours to pee and walking around with a constant pain in my neck because I am sleeping on five pillows to combat the acid reflux. But now that I have an infection, too, we can add all night coughing and a nose that drips like a faucet to the mix. This morning when I woke up I was submerged in a pile of drool with a wet tissue stuck up my nose to stop the drip. Yum! I really am such a delight to be around these days.

Hopefully, BGS continues to hold off until her Mama has kicked this nasty bug. But I have a feeling — knowing my luck— I'll be on the delivery table with a full blown case of the flu. I guess the good news is that once the contractions start my runny nose will be the last thing on my mind.

The one bright spot in this sickness is that we finally had a reason to use the elephant humidifier I got at my shower. Yes, kids, you heard me. It is an elephant and a humidifier all in one. Some people might say I have taken the elephant theme a little to far. But to them I say, does your child have an elephant humidifier that blows steam out of his nose? You be the judge: check out this video and tell me this isn't the greatest thing ever. Oh, and my apologies for the nasally voice. And no, I am not throwing up at the end.

Home Sweet Home

Half way through our home inspection a few months ago Bret and I realized we have absolutely no clue what we are doing when it comes to home ownership. Don't get me wrong, we knew that when we bought the house, but we just didn't realize quite how ignorant we really were. 

Oh so that is what a hot water heater looks like, okay, and what does that do again? It heats water. That makes sense. What's the supers number in case something breaks? Oh, right, there isn't a super — we are the super. Could you spell r-a-d-o-n for me? What the heck is that? Sounds like something you hear of in a superhero movie.

Sure, we are smart people, but living in Manhattan our entire adult lives has left us less than equipped to deal with the joys of owning a home. We don't own any shovels or rakes or even a power drill. But we do have quite an eclectic collection of pizza takeout menus from the east side of Manhattan. That probably won't come in handy when our plumbing backs up. 

What we realized from buying a house and having a baby at the same time is that for some reason home ownership seems a hell of a lot scarier than having a little one. Sure, we are responsible for her growth and development and ensuring she becomes a responsible, productive member of society, but wait a minute — the sump pump in the basement isn't up to code, DISASTER! What are we going to do?!!

I think it just proves one thing: we really are ready to be parents. And don't get me wrong. I don't kid myself. I know we really have no clue what we are getting ourselves into here. But we are ready to be unprepared, ready to know that we have no clue what the next day will bring. We are ready for the adventure. Home ownership, I'm not so sure about. The other day Bret pulled a level out of our toolbox and asked me what it is. Hopefully we'll grow into it. 

At least we managed to get BGS's crib together.

Under the Weather

Two more weeks to go! At our appointment this morning the doctor thought that the odds were pretty high that I will go before my induction date so keep those cell phones handy. We hope to call everyone with good news very soon!

Hopefully, BGS will hold off until at least the end of next week. I was planning to use the rest of this week to tie up some loose ends - like home owners insurance for our new house and trying to make a decision about private cord blood banking. Instead I am curled up in bed with a fever and an awful sore throat that we are really hoping is not strep. Being that I have Lupus the fact that I have not taken an antibiotic during my entire pregnancy really has been a small miracle. I would be devastated if I had to take one when I am drawing so close to the final goal.

The good news, though, is that I have officially started my leave from work so rest, rest and more rest is all that is on the agenda. I was bummed I couldn't make it in for my last official day today, but I had to do what was best for me and BGS. Speaking of which, Bret will be home any minute now and will have a cow if he sees me typing on the computer (even if it is from bed). More from me soon!

BGS is the size of a watermelon this week. Yikes!!

Great Expectations

One of my coworkers asked me if I had thought about preschools for BGS yesterday, which made me think a lot about achievement and what expectations we have for our daughter. First of all, no offense to any New Yorkers, but I am so glad that we will be raising BGS in a suburban town where people think about preschools at a normal time — in about two years — rather than in utero. Apparently, there are some NYC schools where we would have had to submit an application already!

BGS hasn't even arrived in the world yet and already the pressure is on to start thinking about how we can set her up with the greatest possible advantages to achieve in our pressure cooker of a society. One of my former coworkers at TIME wrote a great article on this very issue last year. Anyone who knows me and Bret knows we couldn't be more different in this regard. While I am very A-type, Bret tends to take a more laid back approach to work and school. You may think that would cause a lot of conflict. But in terms of marriage and parenting styles, I must say, I really couldn't be happier that we have such different personalities. I think it makes our marriage healthier and I really believe it will help us raise a more well-balanced child. So the question remains: what do we want for BGS? Will she be more like her Mama or Daddy?

Our best answer is to just see what type of person she wants to be and take it from there. Babies come out with all sorts of personalities and agendas already set and I am sure she will make it known what type of achiever she wants to be. We are hoping for somewhere in the middle of the two of us! Sure, we will help promote her learning and development with Baby Einstein toys and learning games, but to a point. I mean, its amazing any of us ever learned how to use our senses without Sophie the Giraffe, right? Kids today have their schedules so packed with after school activities to help them get into good colleges and tutoring for the SATS seems to start in grammar school these days. A healthy dose of that is fine, but mostly we just want her to be a kid. Play dress-up, run around outside in the mud, make mistakes and learn from them.

At the end of the day we decided there's really only one trait we want our daughter to have: kindness. We don't care if she is popular or nerdy. If she gets straight As or Bs. If she becomes a doctor or a waitress. If she loves baseball and golf like her Dad or has an interest in photography and writing like her Mom. We just want her to grow up to be a good person. Someone who cares about other people and makes life better for those around her. If we can do that I think we will know we were good parents.

It's starting already. Our future 'lil M.D.

So Many Questions

As I approach week 37 all anyone can talk about is my pregnancy. And it isn't just friends and family. No, it's people on the subway, in the supermarket, on the telephone calling from Iowa because I filled out something at Destination Maternity with my home number on it. Inevitably, it leads to the same basic questions. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE talking about my pregnancy but there are a few questions I am having trouble answering politely as I get bigger and bigger and bigger (not to mention, sweatier).

1) Is the heat bothering you? I hope you have good air conditioning. 

My response: No, it’s not that bad. I mean, it’s hot but everyone is miserable.

What I really want to say:  Of course the damn heat is bothering me. It was the hottest July on record in like ten years and I am carrying a bowling ball in my midsection. Isn’t it bothering you? Thanks for reminding me that I am sweating through my bra yet again today.

2) Why are you carrying  so small? 

My response: Yeah, I guess I am carrying sort of small. I think I’m just carrying spread out rather than in front.

What I really want to say. Thanks for reminding me that at least 10 of the pounds I have gained are in my butt and thighs rather than my uterus. Now that you have fed my paranoid I'm going to have to ask the doctor to measure me again at my next appointment and continue to ask my husband if every other pregnant woman we see on the street looks bigger than me. 

 3) Do you have a name yet?

My response: Yes, we do, but we have decided to keep it a surprise. 

Their response: Great idea! 

What I really want to say: I know you don’t think it is a "great idea" to keep the name a secret because if you did you wouldn’t ask me ten follow-up questions to try to get me to slip-up. Is she named after someone? How did you pick the name? Was it hard deciding? You'll find out on August 25th along with everyone else! 

Ok, Seriously. What's with the name?

Alright, you've twisted my arm. So here's the deal with the name.

We have had a lot of nicknames for BGS throughout the pregnancy. First trimester, we referred to the baby as simply “the cells.” Mostly that nickname came from the fact that we were terrified something would go wrong and we didn't want to get our hopes up by calling BGS something warm and fuzzy. 

Somewhere around 12 weeks —before we found out she was a girl — we started calling her "Mabel." I was convinced she was a girl and this name came about from our stuffed elephant Hobbes who thinks Mabel is a great name for a girl. Those of you who know him, know what I am talking about… 

Then sometime around 20 weeks– when we knew for sure she was a girl—Bret decided to start calling her his "little bear" which in turn made me a mama bear and made us collectively just “bears.” When you are pregnant you learn pretty quickly that you no longer have a separate identify from your baby. Lately our conversations go something like this:

Telephone rings. 

Carolyn: Hello. 

Bret: Hey, how are my bears doing this afternoon?

Carolyn: Good, we are pretty tired today though.

Bret: Bears should get something to eat. What are bears in the mood for, for dinner?

Carolyn: Oh, I don't know. Maybe, pasta?

Bret: OK, I'll pick it up on the way home. See you soon bears!

The first thing to note, is that yes, Bret does think food is the solution to all bear problems. The second thing is that I don’t think I’ve heard Bret refer to me as a single person for at least three months now. It's really cute. But it’s also starting to mess with my head a little bit. If you don't believe me. Here's proof. Look at the note he left me this morning: 

I make fun, but he is still super-cute.

Three weeks to go!

I can’t believe BGS is almost here. It feels like just yesterday we heard her tiny little heartbeat for the first time on our nine-week ultrasound. She was the size of a blueberry back then. But these days she is weighing in at just under 6 pounds – our little girl is growing up so fast!

Just to get everyone up to speed, we are being induced the night of August 24^th, which means BGS will likely be born on Wednesday, August 25^th unless she decides to come sooner. Bret will do his best to keep you all posted throughout the labor, but New York Presbyterian Hospital frowns at the use of cell phones so it may be difficult. So keep those iPhones, Blackberries or whatever other technologies you have that allow you to check email handy!

We are pretty much ready to go at this point. For those of you who have seen our apartment in the last two weeks you can clearly tell that we work for BGS now. It’s hard to turn a corner in the apartment without tripping over a Sleep Sheep, falling into a Mamaroo or having a close encounter with our Mr. Whale Bathtub (which by the way, is still the coolest baby product I have ever seen). I am not sure how our parents possibly managed without all these baby products. ;-) BGS officially has three infant bathrobes at this point and that isn’t including her adorable little animal hooded towels from Pottery Barn Kids.

So where are we fitting all this stuff in our tiny Manhattan apartment? Good question. Other than toothbrushes, a pair or two of jeans and some DVDs, Bret and I have pretty much packed up the majority of our stuff for the next few months. While we will be bringing BGS home to our one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, sometime in October – we are not sure exactly when yet – we will be moving into our own home in Berkeley Heights, NJ, which means I will actually get to set up a REAL baby’s room!!! Yes, it’s true. Bret thinks my excitement is less about the baby’s room and more about being able to hang up these adorable little elephant curtains I bought her. He’s probably right – he usually is. Though, I probably shouldn’t put that out there in writing.

So no cute baby pictures to share yet, but in the meantime check out some pictures of our nursery we created in the apartment. It’s pretty awesome. 

Taking over the Living Room

Infiltrating the Bedroom

Welcome to Bear Tracks!

Hi everybody and thanks for visiting my blog!

I bet you are all wondering what is up with the name, right? No, I haven't lost my mind — at least, not yet. 

I'll get to the name later, but first let me tell you why I decided to start this blog in the first place. Of course, the main reason is to keep everyone posted on Baby Girl Sayre — who we will fondly refer to as simply BGS until she arrives. After all, I am sure you will all be waiting anxiously at your computer to see the 15 pictures I take of her everyday and hear about how all her feedings and poops are going. It's not like you have something better to do, right? Right?

But more importantly, I am writing this blog simply so that I keep writing! Apparently, babies take up a lot of time and energy —and being that I am writer I want to keep up with my craft and try to maintain some semblance of sanity. So thank you to everyone in advance for reading my sleep-deprived rants over the next few months. We can't wait to introduce you all to our little girl! 

-Car 

Me and BGS at 36 weeks